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No Perfect Place to Die

from Grief Counseling by Everender

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lyrics

Immaculate perception
I was born in the moment
My image and my vision aligned
Existence now questioned
How can I speak my truth
With their venomous tongues

Tell me I'm the danger; tell me I'm the threat
Tell me that you fear me
And that I must accept
A sentence vitriolic; violence consumed
But maybe if I end it all
The violence might break you

Still my shaking hands before I have to write
A testament to all of the nights
Spent with tired eyes
Dreams of a different life
When will it find me here

Not a man, not a woman
But somewhere in the gray
As the earth holds it's stories
I cling to my decay
A past pursued to please you
I hide myself away from what I know to be true
It's gonna kill me
But I have to

Overdose on the spite in me
Hope it makes me feel something
Count my days till I disappear
Drown in the hate I harbor here

Still my shaking hands before I have to write
A testament to all of the nights
Spent with tired eyes
Dreams of a different life
When will it find me here
Still my shaking voice before I have to say
A testament to you in your wake
There’s no safety here
When will it find me

Pink and blue decorate the graves
Of the ones that we couldn’t save
I’ll remember you as you were
A light they can’t capture
But if the world could still see your face
Could feel all this vacant space
I swear I won’t forget you
I’ll be damned if they try to

There is no faith; there's no constant
Virtue of patience; I've lost it
It stays ever present in my mind
No savior, no last rites
No perfect place to die

There’s no safety here
When will it find me

Brave in the face of your dead name
“Find god”, and hope that you feel safe
Pride with no compromise
No savior, no last rites
No perfect place to die

credits

from Grief Counseling, released September 29, 2023

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Everender Tucson, Arizona

2018 - forever.

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