1. |
To This Body I Am Bound
01:18
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Maybe in another life
I'll see an end to all this suffering
Maybe in a different light
My eyes will settle and stop adjusting
Nurse my wounds
Sewn shut at the sight of you
Feel the burn in my lungs
Barely pulling through
Feel the weight of your hatred and dread.
I won't let you take me
I'd rather be dead
I'd rather be dead
I’d rather stand up on my own two feet
Let my spite fight and carry me
To a better existence
I won't beg for your warmth again
I won’t smile and make amends
I let your venom erode
What little hope I had left
Deceptions, so desperate
In all your attempts
To leave your mark inside my head
I won't let you take me
I'd rather be dead
I’d rather be dead
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2. |
Overburdened
02:13
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I let you go in a lucid dream
I guess my heart is stronger
When I’m asleep
We’ve hit the aftermath
After all that’s passed
It was a shot worth taking
I wanna see the world through your eyes
I wanna feel how it feels to be alive
I wanna hear the words you said
Echo in my head
Over and over again
I’ll never forget the day you left
Or the weeks that followed after that
I was holding on; so rightly wrong
And just hoping you would call me back
But time provides closure
And I’m sure that you know
That there’s a life that you made here
And you still have a home with me
I’m saying “I’m sorry”
For the way this all worked out
It’s in the pride I swallowed
You took a path that I can’t follow
Its all I can do
No longer afraid to lose you
You can’t take back what you never said
And you cannot miss
What you left instead
I wanna forget the day you left
And the weeks that followed after that
I’m still holding on; I know it’s wrong
I’m just hoping that you’ll take me back
But time provides closure
And I’m sure that you know
That there’s a life that you made here
And you still have a home with me
I’m saying “I’m sorry”
For the way this all worked out
It’s in the pride I swallowed
You took a path that I can’t follow
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3. |
Spite
03:20
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Say it with a straight face
A proper prose in broken pace
You blur the lines with words divine
But never the right time or place
Never thought I knew you
At least enough to hold true
To sever the conviction
And carry the weight on my own
Maybe I just can’t get over it
Hurting me in ways so permanent
Maybe I’m just meant to call it quits
To turn my feet and run
Cruel as you could be
To spite my name
Never thought that I would share the blame
Grieving over all my wasted days
When all is said and done
I’ll turn my feet and run
Your presence ever lingering
A holy ghost still haunting me
I gave my best to something
That I’m never getting back
Don’t know what else to do
My mind alight; my heart subdued
There’s no getting over you
But I know that I have to
Maybe I just can’t get over it
Hurting me in ways so permanent
Maybe I’m just meant to call it quits
To turn my feet and run
Cruel as you could be
To spite my name
Never thought that I would share the blame
Grieving over all my wasted days
When all is said and done
I’ll turn my feet and run
Oh, what I’d give
To hold what you anchor with
To echo your confidence
To mirror your circumstance
I’ll take any second chance
If you think I deserve one
Or I’ll turn my feet and run
Maybe I just can’t get over it
Maybe I’m just meant to call it quits
To turn my feet and run
To turn my feet and run
Maybe I just can’t get over it
Hurting me in ways so permanent
Maybe I’m just meant to call it quits
To turn my feet and run
Cruel as you could be
To spite my name
Never thought that I would share the blame
Grieving over all my wasted days
When all is said and done
I’ll turn my feet and run
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4. |
Fairweather
03:41
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I am my father's only breath held under water;
Heard my mother's voice as I fought to try and swim.
But all the weight I'm meant to carry,
Becomes too much,
And I'm forced to bury all the love I lost.
I filled my lungs and held it in.
You say, "Don't fear what hasn't happened yet",
But I know the end.
Give me a reason to believe in this;
Make it worth all the time I spent in a deep haze.
I hope you can push past the caution I take.
And with sunken eyes so vacant,
I know you'll see it in my face,
When you compare me to the weather.
Holding out for something better.
I felt the ground beneath my feet decay and crumble.
Guess I always knew you'd be back to humble me.
'Cause I'm just the dog you keep around when things get scary,
Until it's all to much, and then you leave me in the street.
You say you want a life unread,
But I know the end.
Don't ask me of what lies ahead -
It's not your time just yet.
My heart can't help a second chance;
I wanna make amends.
Naïve of me to betray the lines in my hands,
When I know the end.
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5. |
Door Frame
03:24
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I was hoping you’d stay for a while, my son
To hear the stories of journeys
And things that I’d done
You’re barely old enough now
To hear what I have to say
I know that it doesn’t matter
I know I can’t stay
I was hoping I’d stay for a while, my dear
To see the tics on the door frame
Grow taller each year
You sleep soundly still
As the rain, it pours
You won’t remember my face
But I’ll cherish yours
Maybe I’ll look back on this and laugh
Let the past burn out
And hope you welcome me back
What is it I pay for losing track
You see my face, like a mirror
And hope you won’t end up like that
I was hoping I’d stay for a while, my son
But I can’t change the past
I know what I’ve done
I can see how you’ve aged
And the hurt on your face
I guess it’s easier
To expect things to change
You’ve got a daughter now
Another chapter and page
I hope she’s better now
Then we were at her age
I know you speak of me
With a cautious reserve
I can’t say I’m surprised
It’s what I deserve
Maybe I’ll look back on this and laugh
Let the past burn out
And hope you welcome me back
What is it I pay for losing track
You see my face, like a mirror
And hope you won’t end up like
Maybe I’ll keep distance like you asked
Stray so far from the feeling
That you might welcome me back
Really, I just want the chance to say
That I’ll hold you in my heart
And I hope you can say the same
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6. |
No Savior, No Last Rites
01:55
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I tuned it all out like the static
That rang in my ears way back when
The warmth of the hope, when I had it
What I’d give to get that back again
They’re saying that hell is a place for me
But I’m convinced that I’ve already seen
The worst that this life has to offer
“It’s all god’s plan; a means to an end”
I wanna feel love for myself again
But the tides keep pulling me back
Does life mean a thing
When the truth can’t set you free
I don’t want to die
But I can’t live this life
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7. |
No Perfect Place to Die
05:45
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Immaculate perception
I was born in the moment
My image and my vision aligned
Existence now questioned
How can I speak my truth
With their venomous tongues
Tell me I'm the danger; tell me I'm the threat
Tell me that you fear me
And that I must accept
A sentence vitriolic; violence consumed
But maybe if I end it all
The violence might break you
Still my shaking hands before I have to write
A testament to all of the nights
Spent with tired eyes
Dreams of a different life
When will it find me here
Not a man, not a woman
But somewhere in the gray
As the earth holds it's stories
I cling to my decay
A past pursued to please you
I hide myself away from what I know to be true
It's gonna kill me
But I have to
Overdose on the spite in me
Hope it makes me feel something
Count my days till I disappear
Drown in the hate I harbor here
Still my shaking hands before I have to write
A testament to all of the nights
Spent with tired eyes
Dreams of a different life
When will it find me here
Still my shaking voice before I have to say
A testament to you in your wake
There’s no safety here
When will it find me
Pink and blue decorate the graves
Of the ones that we couldn’t save
I’ll remember you as you were
A light they can’t capture
But if the world could still see your face
Could feel all this vacant space
I swear I won’t forget you
I’ll be damned if they try to
There is no faith; there's no constant
Virtue of patience; I've lost it
It stays ever present in my mind
No savior, no last rites
No perfect place to die
There’s no safety here
When will it find me
Brave in the face of your dead name
“Find god”, and hope that you feel safe
Pride with no compromise
No savior, no last rites
No perfect place to die
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Everender Tucson, Arizona
2018 - forever.
label:
auralalliance.page
mgmt/booking:
kez@roether.co
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